Every once in a while, someone like Lindsay Lohan reminds me exactly why it is I am ”proud” to be an American….meanwhile, living outside of the reach (six months ago to the day I traded being trailer trash for eurotrash; which means that my ability to soak up pop culture via osmosis and nifty gas station magazine headers has for the time being been thwarted) has limited my access to such glorious American mainstays as the Gossip Rag..(they do have them over here, but I can’t read French, and they’re all about people no one gives a shit about, anyway).. however, I am hoping that the…erection… of this fabulous domain hence forth known as Pop-r-azzi (asshat graffiti point for my nifty mis spell and gay joke reference) will one day provide me with an effortless mainline of pop trivia….till such a time as this occurs, I must placate myself with with the only thing left at my disposal…….my ability to mock the piss out of everyone superior to me.
It is one of the cornerstones of American tradition to criticize, mock, and verbally eviscerate all those who are prettier (although I am srsly hot), richer (that be everyone), and more successful than ones self….and though I have defected to the EU, where the drug laws are less harsh and the clothing superior, the men of questionable sexuality and the women no sexuality at all, I shall still carry on to the best of my ability in the best possible American style, and mock:…………….everything.
This page is dedicated to the art of mocking. It is also dedicated to Lindsay Lohan and Ms. Spears, but for whom we shall never run of reasons to mock, and with her I shall begin: (points her middle finger in her best slim shady style and says: hahaha, I saw your tampon string! Stupid Bitch! I’m a Junky, I don’t even GET a period!
Ok, well. That wasn’t funny.(true, but not funny.) Anyway, everyone raise u’r pixie stix and let us toast: to all things wonderful and ridiculous, disgusting and perverse, to American Pop Culture and all the fools who have crucified themselves to bring us the endless motif of Shits and Giggles that is American Pop Culture…..Thank you, Britney, and George Michael (he counts, damnit)—Family Guy, George Bush (Jr AND Sr), Lady Gaga, Lady Gaga’s cellulite, and your questionable taste in meat products—thank you, David Hasselhoff, whose name I still do not know how to spell correctly, thank you, Michael Jackson, may heaven be a place where you are truly white and NAMBLA friendly little boys without Age of Consent savvy parents run free and wild…….and thank you, thank you, thank you. TomKat, Brangelina, and Tara Reid’s breasts, for giving all us little people just one more reason to feel better about ourselves.
-I could not resist writing my own rules book. I’ve never had my own Domain before….and until the magick of have-my-own-domain-dom wears off, I am going to milk it for all it is worth.
Rule 1. Thou shalt not slander, abuse, or maliciously misuse the entity known as Eminem, nor his earthly scribe and High Priestess Myself, otherwise known as the Golden Goddess and Fuhreress of Pop-r-azzi.com. I am above criticism; as such, and this being my page, in the immortal words of M.C. Hammer: nah nah nah nah, (nah nah) CAN’T TOUCH THIS